double jeopardy

Here are the answers to the ipod shuffle quiz, along with some lovely parting gifts. (I also tried to write something about each song, a la this thing, since I know that you’ve all been waiting with bated breath to hear my thoughts on the seminal Salt N Pepa hit “Shoop.”)

1. Jennifer Gentle, “I Do Dream You”

This song was part of a free “iTunes Indie Sampler” that I got at the gym. (Yes, I was actually at the gym.) I don’t think I’d ever actually heard it before I did this little experiment. It’s not really my thing, but I think it’s starting to grow on me.

2. No Doubt, “Spiderwebs”

I bought this album when I was a junior in high school. It reminds me of this girl who stayed with the same French family as me during a foreign language program I was in that summer. She liked No Doubt and was very homesick. Once at dinner she accidentally asked for a maxi pad instead of a napkin in French.

3. Outkast, “Rosa Parks”

I don’t have any inane anecdotes about this song.

4. India Arie, “Video”

Does India Arie have a period in the middle of her name? I don’t like unnecessary punctuation, so I’m not putting it in there. Take that, India Arie!

5. Elastica, “Indian Song”

I think Elastica should have ditched this hacky ethno-fusion crap and stuck to puerile songs about Vaseline. So instead of “Indian Song,” I’m uploading “Vaseline.” If you actually want “Indian Song,” let me know and I’ll send it to you, even though I think it sucks.

6. Beastie Boys, “B-Boys Makin’ with the Freak Freak”

This is another one of those albums that I bought just for the singles. I don’t think I ever listened to this song all the way through, either. This is why I could never be a music critic. That and my love of terrible music.

7. Aimee Mann, “Build That Wall”

I like the end of this song, when it gets all melisma-y. (Melismatic? I don’t even know if I’m using the word correctly.) If I was a guy I would totally want to date Aimee Mann. Except I’d be worried that if she broke up with me, she would write a scathing yet catchy song about my relationship issues that would eventually become part of the piped-in music at the pharmacy, continually irritating me for the rest of my life when I least expected it.

8. Biz Markie, “Just a Friend”

I think this would make a good drunken karaoke song. Maybe because he already sounds like he’s drunk and yelling outside some girl’s window at 3am. I don’t think I could pull it off, though.

9. The Clash, “Death or Glory”

I wish I could understand what Joe Strummer was actually saying half the time, since it turns out this song has a pretty good opening line. (I had to Google it to figure out what he was singing.)

10. Salt N Pepa, “Shoop”

I downloaded this song for my friend J, who also enjoys “Whatta Man.” I prefer “Push It,” even though I always thought the dude with the sunglasses was saying, “Smush It.”

11. Toni Braxton, “He Wasn’t Man Enough for Me”

For some reason, I think this would make a good roller rink song.

12. Apache Indian, “Arranged Marriage”

I found out about this song in college from my “Anglophone India” professor, who brought the cassette to class one day. I kind of like the song, except that I have no idea what he is saying, apart from that he wants to marry a chick who will make him some roti.

13. The Cranberries, “Ridiculous Thoughts”

I used to like this song when I was in high school, but it’s not doing much for me these days.

14. Cake, “Frank Sinatra”

I realize there’s probably a perfectly good reason why people would be interested in studying an ancient radiation that haunts dismembered constellations, but I’m still a little unclear on what exactly that reason is, and whether Cake foresees any practical applications for this research.

15. Raza Jaffrey, “I Could Live Here”

This is from the Bombay Dreams soundtrack, which I burned from my parents because I wanted “Chaiyya Chaiyya” and the ridiculous “Like an Eagle” song. I don’t like this particular song at all, so I think I’m going to pull another bait and switch with “Like an Eagle.” Balle-balle-balle-balle-bollywood! Balle-bollywood!

16. Phantom Planet, “California”

I would just like to say for the record that I downloaded this song several months before it became the theme song for The O.C. Damn you, Josh Schwartz!

17. Oasis, “D’You Know What I Mean”

I don’t know what Oasis means. Do you?

18. Cash Money and Marvelous, “The Mighty Hard Rocker”

This is another song I never heard until I made my list. It’s off of a hip-hop compilation my friend bought in Australia. They were playing it in the record store, and she decided to buy it after hearing “Phenomenon,” “California Love,” and “Rockit” (a.k.a. the breakdance-fighting song from Zoolander) in short succession.

19. Jay-Z, “I Just Wanna Love You”

Jay-Z would make a terrible boyfriend. I wonder what type of song Aimee Mann would write after dating and breaking up with Jay-Z.

20. M.I.A., “Bucky Done Gun”

Being Sri Lankan, I felt culturally obligated to download some M.I.A., but I don’t really care much for her music. I don’t think that the LTTE references are inherently exploitative, but to me they come across kind of like empty gangsta posturing, rather than adding any emotional depth to her songs. And for whatever reason, the beats don’t really grab me. I do like this song better than the other ones I downloaded, “Galang” and “Hombre.”

Since I had fun making that list (and of course, reading other people’s lists), I decided to make another list of some of my favorite song lyrics. (Turns out maisnon had the same idea!) The list is by no means exhaustive and was basically made up off the top off my head, with some scrolling through my iTunes library to jog my memory. I learned from making my list that I tend to like lyrics that are silly, profane, British, and/or gross.

1. I am not Jesus, though I have the same initials

2. Lend me some sugar – I am your neighbor!

3. He used to do surgery for girls in the 80s, but gravity always wins

4. I’ll close my eyes, then I won’t see, the love you don’t feel when you’re holding me

5. You’ve been chosen as an extra in the movie adaptation of the sequel to your life

6. Spending warm, summer days indoors, writing frightening verse to a bucktoothed girl in Luxembourg

7. I don’t have no trouble with you fucking me, but I have a little problem with you not fucking me

8. The good songs weren’t written for you, and they’ll never be about you

9. In every little Honda, there may lurk a Peter Fonda

10. Playing solitaire ‘til dawn with a deck of fifty-one

11. He pulled his foreskin over his head, and vanished up his ass

12. Her Hitler hairdo is making me feel ill

13. Is your crotch hungry girl? Because it’s eating your pants.

14. I just stood there whistling “There Goes the Bride” as she walked out the door

15. And she closed herself up, like a fan

16. And then he took and he ate up all of my corn

17. You gotta take the elevator to the mezzanine, chump

18. I used to fly for United Airlines, then I got fired for reading High Times

19. You are the last drink I never should have drunk, you are the body hidden in the trunk

20. I want to live and I want to love; I want to catch something that I might be ashamed of

Any guesses? No Googling!