the scrunge era

A few years ago when I was visiting my parents, my mother kept going on and on about how her favorite brand of dishwashing sponges, the Scrunge, had been discontinued. We went to a couple different grocery stores and pharmacies in search of leftover Scrunges. At the grocery store my mother asked the clerk, “Do you have the Scrunge?” and the clerk showed her the aisle where all the different sponges were located. My mom told him that she was looking specifically for the Scrunge, then went on a mini-rant about how all the non-Scrunge brand sponges fall apart after a few days. She expressed her irritation about the discontinuation of the Scrunge as the clerk nodded disinterestedly.

Today I went to Walgreen’s to pick up a dishwashing sponge, and I made an exciting discovery: the Scrunge is back! I tried to call my mom from the store to see if she wanted me to bring back some Scrunges when I came home for Christmas, but she wasn’t home. I decided to pick up four of them for the time being, and then come back later if it turned out that she wanted more. (I briefly entertained the thought of buying up all the Scrunges and surprising her with them for Christmas, but I thought that that might send the wrong message.) When I got home, I decided to do some research online to confirm that what I had bought was a genuine Scrunge. Unsurprisingly, the internet is full of people who have been lamenting the disappearance of the Scrunge. Their ranks even include the popular science fiction writer Orson Scott Card:

Made by 3M, this blue plastic scrubbing sponge is simply the best scrubber on the market. Unlike the old steel-wool scrubbers (I grew up with SOS), Scrunge doesn't shed fibers. Unlike the woven scrubbers (usually colored blue so people will think that it's a Scrunge) it doesn't get food bits embedded in it, and it holds up for a remarkably long time. Indeed, it's that longevity that may have been part of its undoing as a commercial product -- it was so durable that people didn't rush out and buy more of them soon enough to make it a viable product.

Card later wrote a follow-up piece explaining how he finally managed to get his hands on some Scrunges:

Scrunges – the best kitchen and everything-else scouring pads ever made. I was miserable because I couldn’t find them anywhere. I had laid in a supply, but unless I die surprisingly soon, I was going to run out before the Scrunges did.

Then a friend found them for me (thanks, Hilary!). They’re shown at a website for O-Cedar and Vileda – the URL is www.ocedar.com. When you get there, choose the Vileda side of the website. Then choose Products, then Scouring Sponges, then you’ll find yourself facing a dazzling array of Scrunges: Multi-use, Extra Large, Extra Large Bathroom, Easy Grip, Flexi Scour, Household and Kitchen.

The last one is the original blue-on-one-side, yellow-on-the-other Scrunge; but they’re all terrific products. But you can’t order them from the website. You have to phone them at 1-800-543-8105, and tell the operator you wish to buy a “sponge product.” Then you get an operator who can take an order.

Just in case Scrunges disappear again, I ordered 100. But they last so long that I may have placed the last order I’ll ever need.

Later I managed to reach my mom (I also had other stuff to talk about apart from the Scrunge), and I told her that Walgreen’s had the Scrunge. I tried to explain what I learned online, which is that I had found the Multi-Use Scrunge, rather than the original blue and yellow Cookware & Dishes Scrunge, but she told me to bring a bunch of them home anyway. (Apparently, the Cookware & Dishes Scrunge can be purchased directly by calling 1-800-543-8105 and asking for item M621.)

All of this business with the Scrunges reminded me of a similar experience of my own. When I was in college, I used to use Crest Tartar Control toothpaste, Smooth Mint Gel flavor. At some point the flavor was discontinued, but I didn’t know that at the time, so I went looking for it in the store with my roommate. I told her I was looking specifically for Smooth Mint Gel, so she tried to help me:

“How about this one?”

“No, that’s Fresh Mint Gel.”

“This one?”

“No, that’s Cool Mint Gel.”

“That one?”

“Ew, no. That’s a paste.”

“OH MY GOD, WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE?”

Every once in a while after that, I would go on mini-rants about the discontinuation of Smooth Mint Gel, and how much better it was than Cool Mint Gel and Fresh Mint Gel. (I would also go on similar mini-rants about the discontinuation of the McDonald’s fried cherry pie. It was so good!) I didn’t realize how much I talked about Smooth Mint Gel until one day a few months ago, when I learned that my favorite shampoo and conditioner, the Neutrogena Clean Balance line, had also been discontinued. My college roommate happened to be visiting me at the time, and as I frantically searched online for the last of the shampoo and conditioner, she rolled her eyes and said, “It’s like the Fresh Mint Gel all over again!” “You mean Smooth Mint Gel.” “Whatever!” She finally began to understand my feelings when she Googled “Crest Smooth Mint Gel” and discovered that the first hit was a blog post by a Ghanaian-American tech guy living in Cambridge entitled, “On the Loss of Smooth Mint Gel.”

Why am I writing about this? I have no idea.