possibly coming to a store near you
The other day I was at Walgreen's, and the guy behind me in line was talking loudly on his cell phone. At first I think he was talking about men's razors, because he kept saying that there had to be a "special comfort grip," and that "all of them have to be named after some kind of military technology." I guess he could have been talking about something else, like fishing rods or vibrators or something. I eavesdropped more intently when he started talking about how a friend of his was involved in a new entrepreneurial venture involving my favorite fruit, the mangosteen. 
As you may already know, the mangosteen is a delightful tropical fruit grown in a number of different Asian countries including Sri Lanka, and, as I learned from eavesdropping, it can also be grown in Brazil. For more on the mangosteen, you can read here and here. Anyway, Loud Cellphone Guy was saying that since mangosteens can't be imported into the U.S., the friend's plan was to sell $25 bottles of mangosteen extract, which apparently defends against "free radicals and shit." The person on the other end of the phone must have asked why the hell anyone would pay $25 for a bottle of fruit juice, because Loud Cellphone Guy explained that you aren't supposed to drink the entire bottle all at once; you're supposed to do
shots, one shot per day. Until I started writing this post I had no idea about the mangosteen elixir craze sweeping the nation, but this helpful pseudoscientific chart reveals that there are at least four different brands of mangosteen juice out there, fighting free radicals and shit. I'm rooting for Vemma mangosteen juice to win, because their sales cult has the best logo. WOO! GO STEENS!
As you may already know, the mangosteen is a delightful tropical fruit grown in a number of different Asian countries including Sri Lanka, and, as I learned from eavesdropping, it can also be grown in Brazil. For more on the mangosteen, you can read here and here. Anyway, Loud Cellphone Guy was saying that since mangosteens can't be imported into the U.S., the friend's plan was to sell $25 bottles of mangosteen extract, which apparently defends against "free radicals and shit." The person on the other end of the phone must have asked why the hell anyone would pay $25 for a bottle of fruit juice, because Loud Cellphone Guy explained that you aren't supposed to drink the entire bottle all at once; you're supposed to do
shots, one shot per day. Until I started writing this post I had no idea about the mangosteen elixir craze sweeping the nation, but this helpful pseudoscientific chart reveals that there are at least four different brands of mangosteen juice out there, fighting free radicals and shit. I'm rooting for Vemma mangosteen juice to win, because their sales cult has the best logo. WOO! GO STEENS!
posted by ads at 9:44 PM
2 Comments:
that is one creepy looking mangosteen. he looks like he could take on free radicals for sure!
I find it especially creepy that he's drinking a glass full of the blood of his smashed-up brethren. Unless that's a glass of free radicals.
Post a Comment
<< Home